


I'll Be Your Voice

by MusicalNerd97



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Child Abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Comfort/Angst, Deaf Character, Deaf Ernst Robel, Deaf Martha Bessell, Deaf Moritz Stiefel, Deaf Otto Lammermeier, Deaf Wendla Bermann, Eventual Relationships, Falling In Love, Growing Up, M/M, OCs - Freeform, Physical Abuse, Rape, Rape Recovery, Sexual Abuse, Unrequited Love, Voice of Ernst, Voice of Martha, Voice of Moritz, Voice of Otto, Voice of Wendla, headcanons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:21:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7374244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalNerd97/pseuds/MusicalNerd97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How did Ernst get his voice? What happened to give him one?</p><p>Every other deaf child in the village has a voice, an angel, who helps them get through the trauma in their lives. Ernst can't help but wonder if God has forgotten him as he tries to work through the mess of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [canaca22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/canaca22/gifts).



> Based off the Deaf West Spring Awakening. Will be done in short parts. Don't know the update rate, hopefully not too long in between. The parts in italics are signed.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated and read thousands of times!

Ernst placed the candelabra on the altar table and began to light the wicks. There was an evening mass tonight and it was up to him and Georg to get it ready.        

 Georg had disappeared several minutes ago. He said he was going to find the communions bowls and cups. Ernst hoped he came back soon. He didn’t like being alone in the large sanctuary. He always felt like he was being watched. And he couldn’t tell if someone was coming up behind him. He wouldn’t hear the figure approaching him and a hand reaching out to touch his shoulder… A strong grip that made him cower. Made him violent even.        

 He hated that feeling.          
  
The church was supposed to be a safe place, but lately safe was the last feeling Ernst had here. Ever since that day a few months ago. A dark shape coming up to him, hands resting on his hips and making him stiffen… A pair of lips leaning down to brush against his ear…        

It was like God had stopped watching over him here. Like he really was alone in the world and all the… bad things that had begun to happen to him were because he really was alone.        

Maybe God had abandoned them. That’s what the Father kept saying. That because of their sins, the Lord was at risk of disappearing. Living them stranded in a Godless world where sin and chaos could reign free.        

Melchior claimed He’d been gone for awhile now whenever Ernst asked him about it. While Hanschen always assured him that Melchior was an idiot and that God wouldn’t abandon Ernst. If anyone had earned his protection it was Ernst.        

He wasn’t sure what Hanschen meant by that, but it had comforted him… at the time at least.        

Now, however, he felt a squeeze in his chest. Maybe at one point he had earned God’s watchful eye, but not anymore. Now the only thing he had earned was a hand groping at his clothes. A musky smell filling his nose as he was pinned down on the hard carpet.        

Ernst shook his head and pushed on, focusing on his other duties. He tried to ignore the impending sense of doom in his gut. A half hour had passed and Georg was nowhere to be seen. Where had he gone? Why was he taking so long? It couldn’t be that hard to find the communion bowls and cups.        

The boy sighed and began dusting the organ. It wasn’t that dusty but even a speck of dust was unacceptable and Ernst was determined to make it all perfect. If he did his job perfectly maybe he would be safe. He reached up to get the top of the large wooden instrument, his body stretching upward.        

He was almost done when he felt a hand place itself on his waist. An almost caressing touch, moving up his arm like a lover would hug their partner.         Fear jolted through him and he let out a cry that was silenced by another hand covering his mouth. He was spun around and pressed against the cool wood of the organ. His eyes focused on the figure in front of him to find Father Straus standing there hovering over him.        

“Look at you Herr Robel, a true beauty…"        

His eyes widened and he instinctively went to shove the man away. He didn’t want to be the helpless victim anymore. He wanted to be free of all this, he wanted to work in the church without being afraid. And if that meant attacking a priest, well… So be it.        

The priest stumbled back, but wasn’t altered. He came back at Ernst and the boy ducked out of the way, running out of reach and up to the pulpit. He looked back once and almost started crying out how close the priest was. He jumped down the several stairs that led to the main floor. He landed in front of one of the stain glass windows with pain jolting through his knees. His ankles felt like they were on fire as he cowered there.        

 Knowing there was no point in running now.        

He looked up and saw the picture of Jesus on the cross, looking down at Ernst with sad eyes as hands locked around his chest and Ernst felt his breath leave his body.        

He felt Father Straus say something, but his words were silent in Ernst’s ears. His breath was warm, humid even, and smelt stale and of cheap wine. The kind the priests all drink when they think no one will catch them. It was after several glasses that Father Straus came looking for him.        

Without fail.        

Ernst shook in the priest’s arms, still staring up at the image of Christ. Begging him silently for help. God had sent his son to save them, and now he needed saving.        

The priest turned Ernst around, his eyes crazed and clearly drunk with blown out pupils. He licked his lips and said “You give ___ sinful ___ Herr Robel.” Leaving Ernst desperately trying to read his lips, “No wonder the Lord crippled you.”        

Ernst felt his chest tighten, he hated the speech before the act. It was to make him feel bad about himself. He knew that. And yet, he couldn’t stop it from affecting him.        

The priest drew away but still knelt in front of him, just enough that Ernst couldn’t get away. He sat there while Ernst shook, sizing him up with slow longing eyes.        

Ernst let his mind race, trying to find a plan of escape this time. A way to get out of this. If he kicked up, maybe it would give him enough time to run out the doors. But what if leaving meant Georg would be the victim? Would Ernst be able to live with himself if he was the reason behind someone else getting hurt?        

He backed up until he felt the wooden pew behind him. The wood cracked and probably not suitable for people to be sitting on every Sunday. Maybe he should look at trying to get those fixed, maybe that would be a good investment. Maybe, maybe, maybe…        

The priest moved forward again, his hand reaching up brushing across Ernst’s cheeks and down his side. The touch sent an unpleasant shiver up his spine.        

 “You’re growing up, _______ like a temptress.”        

 Ernst read his lips, the missing words sticking like thorn in his side. The words made no sense to him. His was only fourteen, barely a man. And what did a temptress have to do with anything? Was the priest calling him that? But he was a boy…        

The priest’s hand was at his hip now, still moving down… and inwards.         Ernst sucked in a gasp, hurriedly trying to close his thighs and keep the priest away from him. Anything to keep himself at least a little safer.        

 Georg still wasn’t back. Why wasn’t he back?        

“Hush child, the Lord doesn’t mind.” The priest said and struck him hard across the face. “Stop being difficult!”        

Ernst didn’t need a translation for that one, he bit his lip until he could taste blood. The priest took his free hand and guided it down the length of his robes. His grip on his wrist was like fire, Ernst trying desperately to pull away and only sending more pain racing up his arm. He had to suppress a whimper, worried that if he spoke he would be struck again.        

 His body shook with fear, the priest’s hand had more force behind it than Ernst had in his leg and spread them with ease. He felt the rough fingers on his inner thigh now, slowly moving up to his belt. He was defenseless as he tried to move away, the splintering wood of the pew cutting into his back.        

He closed his eyes, hoping that would take him away from this nightmare. He thought of Hanschen, with his sweet eyes and open safe arms. Sitting with him under the safety of intertwining grape vines. Their safe place, hidden from the world. Down the road from Hanschen’s house. Hands in his hair as Hanschen played with the dark strands on his head.        

He thought of Wendla and Martha, how they would go down to the river sometimes away from everyone else. The three of them skipping rocks across the surface. Their “voices” following and keeping them protected.        

Where was his voice? His guardian? Why did they have people to protect them and not him? Was he so undeserving? Did God hate him that much? And now here he was. Trapped beneath a crazed priest and Jesus Christ watching him, just as helpless.        

 He thought of Georg and Otto in class with him, trying to help Moritz learn how to lip read. The boy was so desperate for a way to function without sign.         And he thought of Hanschen again, how disappointed he would be in Ernst for not fighting harder…        

The hand on his wrist disappeared and for a brief moment Ernst thought maybe today would be over quickly, but the hand came back down on his face. Harder this time and the ring on the priest’s finger catching his cheekbone and cutting it open.        

 Ernst’s eyes snapped open at the sudden pain, a sharp gasp escaping his torn lips from his own teeth.        

“Keep _____ eyes open!” The priest snarled, hand raised and ready for another strike if Ernst didn’t cooperate. “I ___ you ___ the rules.”        

Ernst felt tears swell in his eyes against his will and he prayed for someone to come save him. Anyone. Even another priest who would take this horrible man away.        

The priest’s hand moved to his belt, his hands fumbling from the wine. He lifted up Ernst’s shirt and his calloused hands pressed against his stomach. Ernst bit his lip and kicked at the priest’s groin. A desperate attempt, this time it wouldn’t go that far. His ankle exploded with pain but the adrenaline coursing through him now gave him the push he needed.        

The priest’s mouth opened wide, and Ernst didn’t have to hear to know that he was screaming. This was his chance.        

He scrambled at the floor and moved to get away. He was almost standing when a strong hand closed around his already sprained ankle and Ernst felt his body falling and hitting the floor roughly. Pain radiating all throughout his body, he’d landed on his wrist wrong and he just prayed he hadn’t broken it.        

A body climbed onto his back, keeping him pinned down to the floor, a hot breathy voice in his ear, the priest saying words he couldn’t hear. He felt the back of his shirt being lifted up and the tears start to fill his eyes. He had only made this worse, why hadn’t he just laid still like he was supposed to?        

Ernst looked towards his last hope of freedom and instead saw the doors opening. Ernst felt his body tense even more. He would get in trouble. He was about to get in trouble. For whatever he’d been doing that kept provoking Father Straus. He was going to be rejected. Tossed aside. People would think he was a whore. Crooked. Broken.        

But none of that happened.  The priest snapped to attention and hurriedly climbed off his back and moved away from Ernst. He let him crumple to the ground, curling into a ball. He left Ernst there shaking beside the pews as he made his escape and his unknown saviour walked down the centre aisle.        

Ernst looked up to see who it was and when Hanschen came into view, he panicked and scampered out of sight under the long line of pews. He didn’t want the boy to see him like this. He hadn’t told him about these… incidents for a reason. He didn’t want him involved.        

But how could Ernst be so stupid? The boy always came to get him at the end of his altar boy duties. In the vineyard, safe. Hanschen stayed with him as long and Ernst asked. It was their daily ritual, and Ernst was supposed to have met for him outside!        

When did it get to be so late?        

If he’d just sat still, he would have saved Hanschen from knowing the cruel fate he suffered every day.        

Hanschen must have saw or heard him because within no time at all Hanschen was there, staring down at him. He reached out to touch his shoulder and drew Ernst out of his thoughts. The boy gave a shout, forgetting who it was and Hanschen jumped back quickly.        

“Did I hurt you?” He asked.        

Ernst shook his head, staying under the pews, Sorry you startled me.         Hanschen half smiled and said “What are you doing down there?”        

He didn’t, suspect anything. He could lie his way out of this.        

 _Dusting._        

“Oh really?”        

 Yes, why does that surprise you?        

 “Because the pew is still covered in dust.”        

Oh.        

Hanschen frowned and reached out his hand to Ernst. He guided him out from under the wooden seats and let him sit against the wall. Hanschen crouched in front of Ernst and frowned as he saw the split lip, the cut on his cheek. His shirt rumpled and belt half undone. Worry seeped into his eyes and he signed “What happened?”        

Ernst shook his head and reached out to lower his hands. Keep him safe. Keep the priests from seeing it.        

Hanschen gently caught his hands, eyes growing angry as he saw the purple fingerprints that had been imprinted onto his skin. His eyes snapped up to meet Ernst’s and he said “Who did this? What happened?”        

 _It’s not important._ Ernst replied.        

Hanschen frowned “That’s not true and you know it.” He glanced over at the door where the priest had disappeared and swore “Fuck, you have to be fucking kidding me!” He looked back at Ernst and said “How long?”        

Ernst shrugged, _I’ve lost count. _       

 “Lost count…” Hanschen said, his eyes closing in defeat as he gently gathered Ernst’s body gently to his.        

Ernst curled into his arms, closing his eyes and shaking like a leaf. He fingers curled into Hanschen’s coat, the fabric soft and welcoming. The other boy asked no more questions, just held him tightly his hand gently rubbing his back. An attempt to calm the shaking boy.        

After a moment Hanschen pulled back and said “Come on, we’re getting out of here.”        

 _But I…_        

“Now Ernst.”        

Ernst nodded and followed Hanschen out, knowing deep down that this wouldn’t be the last time. No matter how hard Hanschen wanted to protect him.          
Hanschen was wrong, God really had abandoned him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I have the third part basically done so I once I have it finalized I will post it! 
> 
> Comments and kudos never go unappreciated <3

Hanschen was lying on his back in the vineyard, his arms tucked neatly beneath his blonde head. He was tapping his foot along to a rhythm Ernst couldn’t hear with his left leg propped up on his right knee.  
  
Ernst was sitting upright, avoiding looking at the boy. Hanschen looked ready to fall asleep and Ernst didn’t want to disturb him. Besides, there wasn’t much to be said. It wasn’t like Ernst was going to talk with Hanschen about what had happened earlier. They had both been there this time, Hanschen knew.  
  
There was no need to dwell on it. It was over and Ernst knew better now. No harm done.  
  
Ernst was looking down at his hands, the purple bruises from before painfully obvious against his pale skin. If he wasn’t careful his parents would see, and not just them, all the kids at school would see and know something was wrong. How was he supposed to explain everything to them? He didn’t want to think about it let alone think about it.  
  
Someone tapped Ernst on the shoulder lightly and Ernst jumped slightly before  turning around. Hanschen frowned at him and Ernst managed to offer him look at him a shy smile.  
  
_Yes?_  
  
“Did you finish your latin homework?” Hanschen asked.  
  
Ernst blushed and shook his head, _I... I had some trouble with the conjugations. I was just planning on doing it later._  
  
“Why wait?”  
  
_What?_  
  
Hanschen sat up, pushing a casual hand through his hair “You understood me Ernst. You act like I don’t know you, if I don’t make you do it now you won’t. Besides, I don’t mind tutoring you. You know that.”  
  
_I know, but... I promise I will do it this time. You don’t need to trouble yourself with me._ Ernst said.  
  
Hanschen raised and brow and rested a hand on his shoulder, “Come on Ernst, it’s okay. Let me help you.”  
  
Ernst bit his lip but nodded, _Alright._  
  
Hanschen’s face brightened and he pulled their books from his bag, “Show me what you need help with Ernst.”  
  
Sighing loudly, Ernst pointed out one of the lines in their textbook. He looked up at Hanschen, finger still on the phrase. _Herr Sonnestich asked me to translate this today... I didn’t know how. Not without..._ And he shook out his raised hand, shame reddening his cheeks. _I don’t know why I still use it._ Ernst admitted. _It’s not like I can use it at home. Or at school. So why bother? I should just learn to talk like a normal person._ _  
_  
Hanschen’s jaw tensed, his eyes focused on Ernst’s hands, his eyes staring intently at them, as if questioning them.  
  
For what, Ernst couldn’t imagine.   
  
A finger gently hooked under his chin and Ernst looked over to meet Hanschen’s eyes. The boy lifted his own hands and said “You don’t deserve to be treated this way.”  
  
_Well, neither do Moritz or Otto but that doesn’t stop him. The way the adults act around us... Like we’re things that need to be fixed... It’s not right Hanschen. No one deserves that._  
  
“But you especially don’t.” Hanschen insisted.  
  
_And why is that? Why do I matter more than our classmates?_ _  
_ _  
_ Hanschen couldn’t answer, his lips looked like they were glued shut. The answer Ernst so wanted to see locked away from him. If it was even there at all.  
  
Ernst sighed and lay back on the dirt, ignoring Hanschen’s expectant look. Latin didn’t matter right now, He just wanted to rest, today at the church had been a particularly bad experience and Ernst wanted to wipe it from his mind.  
  
Hanschen was wrong, the discipline at the school was fine. But after school? No, those were the moments he couldn’t stand. Ernst closed his eyes, shutting out reality if only for a moment and letting his mind wander.   
  
There were millions of worlds behind his eyelids, he just had to find them. He could pretend life was good. That it was going the way he wanted. That people treated each other fairly, that had to happen somewhere right? Maybe not here, but somewhere. Somewhere in his fantasies. There were he could play and live a new life, one where he wasn’t afraid to get up in the morning and face the day. Face the struggles that greeted him with each passing day.  
  
Live a life where he wasn’t called broken.  
  
A hand was placed on his knee and Ernst opened his eyes, a tangle of vines twisting above him and small purple berries growing on them. He glanced up, finding sweet sad eyes to greet him.  
  
_Are you alright, Hanschen?_ He asked the boy _._  
  
Hanschen laughed “You’re asking me that?”  
  
_Yes, of course._  
  
“You’re really something, Ernst. You know that? Why don’t you be concerned for yourself for once?” Hanschen said, his jaw tight as he spoke. His lips barely opening now, which was unlike him.   
  
Ernst frowned, _I am. When I need to be._  
  
“What? Being abused doesn’t warrant concern?” Hanschen asked, his hands making stiff motions instead of their usual carefree fluid movements.  
  
Ernst winced _It’s not that... It’s just disciplining Hanschen._  
  
“Stop being an idiot, Ernst.”  
  
His words pierced into Ernst’s heart and he stared at Hanschen horrified. Without another word he gathered his things and stood up, _Goodbye Hanschen_. He signed politely before stalking away.  
  
He didn’t know if Hanschen tried to call him back and frankly he didn’t care. The vines scratched at his clothes as he hurried away but he ignored them. They didn’t graze his skin, but he was sure his school uniform would have holes all over it. His parents were going to be so angry with him.  
  
Maybe he’d be able to sneak in without anyone noticing. It was late, but it couldn’t be that late. Six at the most, he would get home just in time for supper. Soon enough to take off his jacket and hide it. Inspect it later that night safely locked away in his room, get one of the girls to fix it for him if needed.  
  
Ernst was out of the vineyard when a hand grabbed at his jacket. It spun him around and he was faced with a distraught looking Hanschen. He bit his lip and let go of the Ernst’s jacket to say,  
  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. That’s not what I meant. You’re not an idiot Ernst. You’re one of the smartest boys I know. You’re one of the most talented boys I know. I just... I don’t understand why you refuse to help yourself. To ask for help. I’m right here. We can expose those fake men of God you ju-”  
  
Ernst held up his hands and stopped Hanschen’s rambling, _I accept your apology. Now if you don’t mind, I really must go._  
  
Hanschen stared at him “I can’t let you go home angry at me.”  
  
_I’m not angry._  
  
“You don’t have to lie to me. You know that.” Hanschen said.  
  
Ernst shrugged, not wanting to make the situation worse. _Can I just go home please?_ _  
_  
“Are you mad at me?”  
  
__No. Ernst said firmly.  
  
“Okay... Don’t expect me to apologize again later then.” Hanschen said, and walked away leaving Ernst standing there with a growing frown on his lips.  
  
How did he always manage to push away those who cared for him? Or at least pretended to care. He didn’t really know how anyone felt about him, did they even care? Or was he just some kid in their class?  
  
Why had Hanschen even started being friends with him in the first place?  
  
It wasn’t like they had ever run in the same social circle, but Hanschen had picked him out of the crowd and changed Ernst’s for the best. At least he had. Until he found out that Ernst was keeping his problems from him.  
  
But Ernst felt he was entitled to his secrets. He was sure Hanschen had his own that he kept from him, so why was Ernst supposed to tell him everything?  
  
Well it looked like that was over anyway. Hanschen was frustrated with him and Ernst didn’t know how to make it better. He really wasn’t mad at the boy, just... surprised he supposed. At least he knew now how Hanschen really felt about him. No matter what else he said. Those words had fallen from his lips with such ease.  
  
There was no getting out of that one.  
  
It didn’t matter what Hanschen said  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks again so much for reading and the positive feedback it means so much!! I don't have part 4 done yet but I hope to have it up soon. School is winding down so I should be able to do more writing *fingers crossed* 
> 
> Comments always appreciated!

Back home, the lights were on and smoke was coming out of the chimney. His family must have already retired to the living room for the night.        

He walked inside and shut the door, pulling off his scarf and jacket. He felt a presence behind him as he hung up his jacket and turned around to see his father standing there with tense muscles. He stared down at Ernst, as if expecting something.        

Ernst offered a smile and a wave, not sure what else to say.        

“Where were you?!” His father yelled, his lips enunciating each word.        

Ernst winced, taking a deep breath and saying in a tone deaf voice “Hanschen Rilow.”        
  


  

“That boy is a menace. I told you not to see him!” His dad shouted.        

Ernst sighed and took another deep breath to say “He’s my friend. He helps me with homework.”        

“Why do you insist on disobeying me?” His father asked. “You know his family is corrupt. They don’t follow the Word as they should! I thought you were better than this Ernst!”        

Ernst frowned up at him and shook his head, not sure how to reply.

“Answer me!”        

Feeling his shoulders shake slightly he meekly said “He is a good friend.”        

His father raised his hand and before Ernst could react he felt the back of his hand slap him across the face and sending him reeling into the wall. He banged his head and fell onto the hardwood floor with his cheek stinging and probably sporting his father’s handprint.        

Ernst looked up, horror passing over his face. His father had never gotten violent before, it was always threatened but he didn’t believe he would ever actually do it. His father looked surprised at his actions too. But he stood his ground and didn’t let Ernst escape.

“Well?”

His face red like it had been on a night so many years ago. There were no veins this time, but if Ernst didn’t answer correctly he could see them appearing right away.

What was he supposed to say? What could he say? He wanted to accuse him, to be angry. To fight back for once in his life!

But now just didn’t feel like the time. If he fought back now, he may end up with nowhere to sleep for the night. He’d be out in the cold. Sure Hanschen would probably take him in, but the danger of him getting in trouble was too high. Besides, he might still be frustrated with Ernst and not want to see him anyway.

Ernst couldn’t take that chance.

Just like those afternoons in the church, he was helpless. He had no other choice but to submit and be the guilty one.        

“I’m sorry.” Ernst said, his voice seemingly quieter even to his deaf ears.        

His father nodded and walked away, so Ernst must’ve done something right. His father was going into the living room where Ernst was sure his parents would be having words well into the night. It was on nights like these that Ernst actually thanked God that he couldn’t hear anything.        

He never had to hear the screaming matches that seemed to happen on a daily basis.

The worst time had been when he was five. Ernst wasn’t sure exactly what had happened before, but he’d been moving his way through the house looking for them. Even if only his hearing was missing, he had trouble navigating the household. Especially when in search of a parent. They never seemed to be in one spot long enough for him to find them.

That was still true.

But on this particular day, finding them had been the easy part. He could feel the walls shaking, soft vibrations in the wood that only grew more violent as he moved towards the living room. He wasn’t sure what to expect but when he rounded the corner he saw his parents standing there with their mouths moving emphatically.

His father’s face was red, those veins bulging at his neck. His hands were raised and his whole body looked braced for an attack.

His mother had tears in her eyes, and she had her arms crossed over her chest. Closed off from the words his father was saying. Or… Screaming Ernst supposed.

The walls were almost rocking back and forth now, the world around him suddenly painfully real. His parents didn’t notice him as he stood there watching them yelling back and forth, limbs moving dramatically as they both tried to get their points across, whatever they may have been.

Eventually he slunk away, not wanting to be caught spying and brought into the fight. He wasn’t necessarily afraid of his parents, but even at his young age Ernst knew they weren’t like most parents. They didn’t pay attention like Hanschen’s parents. They didn’t understand him like Melchior’s mother did.

There were many other fights after that. The walls vibrating a constant as the boy grew up. No one knew about them, no one asked.

No, Ernst preferred not to hear them. Seeing them, feeling them was enough for him.

He lived in pleasant ignorance that everything was fine. Nothing was wrong. No one beating him. No screaming parents. No parents who actively objected to almost every friend that he made.        

Ernst wasn’t even one hundred percent sure why they objected to Hanschen so much. It wasn’t like they knew about his feelings for him. So what was it about the boy that made his father so angry?        

His family?

Perhaps.        

Unlike his family, the Rilows never forced Hanschen to go to church. Hanschen was very much against their church in the village. Even before he’d found Ernst cowering under the pews.

And while that had never affected how Ernst felt about God or his religion he admitted that his reluctance to go to church was very adamant as of late. His father attributed it to his association with Hanschen, which in all fairness, was safer than letting him know the truth.

Pushing himself to his feet, Ernst stumbled up to his room. He closed the door, in what he hoped was a quiet manner, and sat down on his soft mattress. He lay down and pulled his knees to his chest. Maybe if he closed his eyes and let himself sleep, when he woke up everything will have fixed itself. Maybe his parents would finally be proud of him. Maybe he wouldn’t be afraid… Maybe… Maybe Hanschen would return his feelings.

A hopeful smile formed on his lips and he let that last thought warm him. Carry him off into a dreaming state.

When he woke up someone, or something, was tapping his shoulder gently. Rousing him from what had been a pleasant dream, though one that was fading the longer he was conscious. Ernst looked over his shoulder nervously, wondering if one of his parents had come up to check on him. Or yell some more.

Instead he found a boy about his age sitting on the edge of his bed. The boy had ginger hair and kind brown eyes. He was lean and thin, sitting with his legs crossed and hands folded in his lap. He was wearing clothes Ernst had only ever seen on the voices of his friends and had a bright smile on pink lips.

“ _Hello Ernst_ ,” The boy waved. _“I’m sorry to wake you, but I wasn’t sure how long you were going to sleep. Plus your parents have been calling for you. I think it’s dinner time. We should go down.”_

Ernst frowned and waved back, signing _Who are you? How do you know my name?_

_“A friend.”_

Tilting his head, Ernst studied the boy critically.

 _What kind of a friend?_ He said, and then repeated _How do you know my name?_

 _“I know everything about you Ernst. It’s nice to finally meet you.”_ The boy said with excited hand gestures. “ _Don’t you know who I am Ernst? I’m your voice!”_

_I have a voice?  
_

_“Yes of course! I’m your very own personal guardian angel and helper.”  
_

_But… Why now? Where have you been? I’ve… I’ve needed you._

The boy, his voice, sighed _“I know. I’ve seen it all. I tried to come sooner but I don’t make the calls. I promise you though, I’m here now, just for you.”_

_For me?  
_

_“Yes, you Ernst. Why do you look so surprised?”_

_I just… I thought God had forgotten me._

The boy smiled sadly “ _Yes, I can see how you might have drawn that conclusion. But I’m telling you, he hasn’t. He cares for you and he has noticed your struggles. That’s why I’m here.”_

_But what can you do? Can you stop it from happening?_

“ _There is a limit, but what I’m mainly here for is translation, warning, I can give you a way to express yourself with ease. There are very few who can see me so you don’t have to worry about that. And while people won’t hear me speaking, I can sign to you what others are saying._ ”

 _That certainly will be helpful._ Ernst admitted.

“ _I know, I’m just sorry it took so many years to get here. But the situation has worsened quicker than we anticipated.  I’m here to protect you Ernst._ ”

_From what?_

“ _Anything and everything. I’m afraid your trials are not over yet_.”

Ernst nodded and sat up straighter so he was eye level with him.

_What should I call you?_

_“Ernst? Or… no. That will get confusing. My other name Eae. You can call me that.”_

_Alright. Eae it is._

Eae grinned and outstretched his hand “ _I think we’re going to have some good times together._ ”

 _I think you’re right._ Ernst agreed and shook his hand eagerly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: His voice's name is pronounced "A"


End file.
